It's a series of tubes.

I humbly request that the voting public elect U.S. Senators less clueless and less incoherent than Ted Stevens.

There's one company now you can sign up and you can get a movie delivered to your house daily by delivery service. Okay. And currently it comes to your house, it gets put in the mail box when you get home and you change your order but you pay for that, right.

But this service isn't going to go through the interent and what you do is you just go to a place on the internet and you order your movie and guess what you can order ten of them delivered to you and the delivery charge is free.

Ten of them streaming across that internet and what happens to your own personal internet?

I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?

Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.

. . .

They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.

It's a series of tubes.

And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

Download and listen to the audio of Stevens' rant if you want to bask in the full glory of his incoherent ramblings.

We hold these truths to be self-evident

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed.

I don't want a revolution. I don't want our government to be abolished. If we had to replace it with another form of government, I can't imagine of a system of government that would offer any significant improvement over the system we now have in place. There is no structure of government so sound that it cannot be shaken to the core by the concerted efforts of evil or selfish men and an indifferent voting public. I believe our system of government is fundamentally sound, but the people need to wake up to their own responsibility, to claim and fully exercise their rights as citizens. Ours is a government of the people, by the people, and for the people.

Ultimately, if there is anything wrong with our government, we, the people, have no one to blame but ourselves.

Not a very bright idea.

To the list of places I'd rather not fall asleep in, add Pakistani prisons.

MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

As a sidenote, I really like the fact that Yahoo News has a photo slideshow devoted to this story. 'Cause, you know, some readers might not know what a light bulb looks like.

Before the flood.

Early last week, I had a dream in which I was walking outside a large hotel in the downtown area of a large city. I was there to attend a friend's wedding reception. Suddenly I noticed I was standing in ankle-deep water. Then it was knee-deep. Then it was up to my waist, and I was swimming against the growing current to try to get to the door of the hotel. By the time I made it inside, the water was up to my shoulders. I woke up thinking, "What an unusual dream."

I'm sure that any similarity between my dream and events that have taken place since then is just a coincidence.

Right?

Bat-eating Centipede

What with me being a giant bug and all, shit like this isn't supposed to creep me out. But I sure as hell do not want to come face to face with the bat-eating centipede in a dark alley. Don't click through if you don't want to see a video of a big fucking centipede capturing a bat in mid-flight. Seriously.

I don't have a dog in this fight.

This little guy won some awards for something, and I'm guessing the contest wasn't even close.

I'll stick to my alarm clock, thank you.

When staying in Japan, be sure NOT to ask for the morning wake-up call.

(Via Grow-a-Brain.)

Maybe I should reconsider my coffee habit.

But I definitely should have had my morning coffee before watching this. (Via Boing Boing.)

Got your goat.

For those in search of a life philosophy, I refer you to the Institute for the Study of The Goat, The Pole, and Their Relative Positions.

Goatonapole is the philosophy of being that holds that there is a Goat and a Pole and that the Goat is on the Pole. In the relation of Goat and Pole we Goatonapolists find an eternal thread of unfathomable cosmic significance, a point of reference in which all opposites dissolve into a unity of infinite breadth, a universal truth underlying the very fabric of existence. Upon contemplation of the Goat, the Pole, and their relative positions, one cannot help but realize that we've always been talking about Goatonapole. Whether we accept, reject, or live in ignorance of Goatonapole, we are all Goatonapolists.

The evidence seems irrefutable:


However, when I think of Goat on a Pole, I more typically think of this:


The Goatonapolists should definitely have a meeting of minds with the Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things.

Something I read today.

"The strongest man is never strong enough to be master all the time, unless he transforms force into right and obedience into duty."

- Jean-Jacques Rousseau, The Social Contract, chapter 3, "The Right of the Strongest"