Zeno's Paradox?

A fellow named Zeno takes me to task regarding my avowed goal of growing wings and antlers:

This comparison to Bush's words is the most unfair of all. As a man who is close to the earth—a gentleman farmer and rancher who is practically a naturalist—the president is well aware that wings and antlers are not compatible in nature.

As a man of learning—a gentleman loser and rauncher who is practically unnatural—I believe what I read in books. I meet Zeno's challenge to my credibility with the most hallowed of academic traditions, the citation. Here is the source that sparked my dream:

Gygax, E. Gary. 1977. Monster Manual. Lake Geneva: TSR Hobbies, Inc.

For those whose university libraries are not fortunate enough to have this rare volume on their shelves, I reproduce the relevant portion of page 78.


I stand vindicated! This combination of features is found in nature, and I shall grow them on my own body!

I do not, however, believe in imposing artificial timetables on my dreams. My wings and antlers will grow in their own good time. Until then, I will adapt to win.

Maybe I'll try some Rogaine. I hear that stuff works miracles.