Not a very bright idea.

To the list of places I'd rather not fall asleep in, add Pakistani prisons.

MULTAN, Pakistan (Reuters) - Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

As a sidenote, I really like the fact that Yahoo News has a photo slideshow devoted to this story. 'Cause, you know, some readers might not know what a light bulb looks like.

Before the flood.

Early last week, I had a dream in which I was walking outside a large hotel in the downtown area of a large city. I was there to attend a friend's wedding reception. Suddenly I noticed I was standing in ankle-deep water. Then it was knee-deep. Then it was up to my waist, and I was swimming against the growing current to try to get to the door of the hotel. By the time I made it inside, the water was up to my shoulders. I woke up thinking, "What an unusual dream."

I'm sure that any similarity between my dream and events that have taken place since then is just a coincidence.

Right?

Bat-eating Centipede

What with me being a giant bug and all, shit like this isn't supposed to creep me out. But I sure as hell do not want to come face to face with the bat-eating centipede in a dark alley. Don't click through if you don't want to see a video of a big fucking centipede capturing a bat in mid-flight. Seriously.

I don't have a dog in this fight.

This little guy won some awards for something, and I'm guessing the contest wasn't even close.

I'll stick to my alarm clock, thank you.

When staying in Japan, be sure NOT to ask for the morning wake-up call.

(Via Grow-a-Brain.)

Maybe I should reconsider my coffee habit.

But I definitely should have had my morning coffee before watching this. (Via Boing Boing.)

Got your goat.

For those in search of a life philosophy, I refer you to the Institute for the Study of The Goat, The Pole, and Their Relative Positions.

Goatonapole is the philosophy of being that holds that there is a Goat and a Pole and that the Goat is on the Pole. In the relation of Goat and Pole we Goatonapolists find an eternal thread of unfathomable cosmic significance, a point of reference in which all opposites dissolve into a unity of infinite breadth, a universal truth underlying the very fabric of existence. Upon contemplation of the Goat, the Pole, and their relative positions, one cannot help but realize that we've always been talking about Goatonapole. Whether we accept, reject, or live in ignorance of Goatonapole, we are all Goatonapolists.

The evidence seems irrefutable:


However, when I think of Goat on a Pole, I more typically think of this:


The Goatonapolists should definitely have a meeting of minds with the Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things.

Something I read today.

"The strongest man is never strong enough to be master all the time, unless he transforms force into right and obedience into duty."

- Jean-Jacques Rousseau, The Social Contract, chapter 3, "The Right of the Strongest"