The Nancy Reagan of Giant Mutant Cockroaches

I understand that many people have an inherent dislike for cockroaches, especially those of us who belong to the giant, mutant variety. I don't know why. Sure we look a little funny, but we can be forces for good! Consider this man's story of his friend's encounter with Rambo Roach and how Rambo helped his buddy to "just say no."

When I was arrested, they placed me in a dimly-lit cell alone. During the night I awoke to see what appeared to be a giant mutant cockroach at least 4 1/2 inches long standing on its hind legs in the middle of my chest. He was dressed in a green beret and camouflage dungarees which looked as if they had come off of a G.I Joe doll. At his side was a large sewing needle strapped on like a saber. As my eyes cleared, he began to speak. "I am Rambo Roach and this is my home and you are tresspassing. If you wish to remain here you will have to pay rent to me and my troops." He then informed me the cold sack lunches which the guard brought twice a day belonged to them.