Monday, December 11, 2006

Zeno's Paradox?

A fellow named Zeno takes me to task regarding my avowed goal of growing wings and antlers:
This comparison to Bush's words is the most unfair of all. As a man who is close to the earth—a gentleman farmer and rancher who is practically a naturalist—the president is well aware that wings and antlers are not compatible in nature.
As a man of learning—a gentleman loser and rauncher who is practically unnatural—I believe what I read in books. I meet Zeno's challenge to my credibility with the most hallowed of academic traditions, the citation. Here is the source that sparked my dream:
Gygax, E. Gary. 1977. Monster Manual. Lake Geneva: TSR Hobbies, Inc.
For those whose university libraries are not fortunate enough to have this rare volume on their shelves, I reproduce the relevant portion of page 78.


I stand vindicated! This combination of features is found in nature, and I shall grow them on my own body!

I do not, however, believe in imposing artificial timetables on my dreams. My wings and antlers will grow in their own good time. Until then, I will adapt to win.

Maybe I'll try some Rogaine. I hear that stuff works miracles.

4 comments:

Zeno said...

Curses! Foiled again!

Ruth said...

Oh dear God, not TSR! Just can't seem to escape that place. My significant other worked there, we have an attic full of "product," probably including a Monster Manual. The product distribution at the time was called, jokingly, 'the retirement plan.'

However, cool monster.

Troy said...

I just discovered your blog through Brad DeLong's economics blog - it's awesome, and anyone who referes to the brilliance of the contemporary theorist and systamizer Gary Gygax, wins my heart.

mrh said...

Ah, the Peryton. A noble beast, too often overshadowed by its more popular cousin, the Owlbear.