It’s Super Tuesday!
Yes, it’s here! That special day that comes only once every four years, when mild-mannered Tuesday dashes into a phone booth, removes its glasses, rips off its drab office attire and emerges in a red-and-blue spandex bodysuit, boots, and a cape! How it managed to fit those fabulous red boots inside its black leather shoes is a mystery that can be explained only by Super Tuesday’s overwhelming superness! And the fact that no one ever comes across Super Tuesday’s discarded suit in an empty phone booth and steals its wallet? Prevented by the superness!
Yes, Super Tuesday fights for us! It fights for truth, justice, and the American way of arbitrarily giving voters in some states and not others a crucial role in choosing the next leader of the free world! And this year it’s more super than ever! With better special effects!
Look out, Super Tuesday! There’s kryptonite in that voting machine! How will you save us???