A partial list of things which, as a result of disinterest so profound it borders on the hostile, I hereby publicly express an unwillingness to give:

• a hoot
• a fig
• a dang
• a darn
• a damn
• a tinker's cuss
• a crap
• a good God damn
• a shit
• a rat's ass
• a fuck¹

1: neither the flying variety nor the more common flightless variety shall be given