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Please allow me to introduce myself . . .

Thanks, MAE, for allowing me to share your space here. I promise to only come out from under the refrigerator when you don't have guests over.

For those of you who haven't met me before, I'm just your average giant mutant cockroach, typical denizen of a post-nuclear-holocaust wasteland in which there are fewer of you and more of us. So how am I able to comment and blog in 2006, a world not yet ravaged by nuclear war? More on that later, but suffice to say we giant mutant cockroaches are a clever bunch.

I'll wrap up my first post here with a link to The Cockroach FAQ - everything you always wanted to know about cockroaches but were afraid to ask. While the questions and answers there relate to the regular cocroaches you are more likely to be familiar with, we giant mutant cockroaches have a lot in common with our pre-apocalyptic ancestors, so much of the information found there remains true for us. For example:

Thirst, hunger, sex and safety rule the cockroach life.

See, you and I are not so different after all!

While they keep their bodies clean for their own protection, they are not and can not be 'house broken'. Think of them as an eternal puppy.

Aww! How cute! Don't you want a cockroach of your very own?

Till next time . . .

And these have smaller fleas that bite 'em

It was only a matter of time, I suppose, before My Alter Ego spawned an alter ego of my own. (An alter-alter ego? A meta alter ego? A symptom of serious mental illness? Who knows.)

Anyhow, since he seems to have established a semi-regular existence commenting at several of the blogs I frequent, it only seems fitting to welcome the Giant Mutant Cockroach as a co-blogger here. Make of this what you will.

Post de Blog (style américain)

I like the idea of public transportation, but I'm usually too lazy to bother. And for most of places I have to go to and from, driving my own car is a lot more convenient. But with the price of gas so high I've been trying to force myself to use public transportation once in a while.

So today during my lunch hour I had some errands to run, and rather than drive I decided to take the bus. It was pretty crowded. I couldn't help but notice one passenger in particular, a guy who looked to be in his late 20s with an unusually long neck and wearing a funny old hat. Next thing I know, this guy is complaining loudly that the guy next to him was intentionally bumping into him everytime people got on and off the bus. And then he sees an empty seat and lunges for it as if he were playing musical chairs. Wackos like him are probably why I don't take the bus more often.

Update: A few hours later I was in front of the train station and I heard a voice that sounded vaguely familiar. I looked around and I saw it was the same guy from the bus! He was with another guy who was telling him that he needed to add a button to his overcoat.

(with apologies to Raymond Queneau)

Do not click on the links in this post.

Unless, of course, you want to see a hillarious video of a naked man intentionally setting his pubic hair on fire. NSFW, of course.

But that's nothing. The link you really, really, really don't want to click on is this one, which will take you to a video of a man proudly displaying and talking about his penis, which is unlike any other penis I've ever seen. Really. Not anywhere near safe for work, and not for the easily-grossed-out.

Both links via digitaler lumpensammler.

This All Too Mobile Home

I have seen the future, and now I have déjà vu.
When I saw this Boing Boing post about GMC's concept "urban loft with mobility", I knew I had seen this vehicle before. But where? Ark II? Damnation Alley? Stripes? My own blog?

Double Feature

I finally saw Crash last night. Sorry to be late to the party, but I almost never see movies in theaters, and why pay to rent a DVD when the same movie will be on HBO/Starz/Cinemax/Showtime three months later? I'm paying for all those channels anyway, right?

Anyway, back to Crash. Put me in the Crash-haters camp. It had a few good moments, but hardly enough to vault it into "Best Picture" territory. So what was the point of this film? Surely a film this preachy had to have a point. Was it that, deep down, everybody is racist, even the people who go out of their way to prove to themselves that they aren't? Was it that even racists can be good to their elderly fathers and can sometimes act in heroic fashion? That the issue of race in America is really complex? Come on, tell me something I don't already know.

So after watching Crash I needed a chaser, something to wash the bad taste out of my mind. After channel-surfing a few minutes I found the perfect antidote: Soul Plane!